It is the night of our dear saviours birth

It's Christmas Eve!!!! Tonight children ( and some adults!!) will struggle to sleep with all the excitement of santas imminent arrival!!! 

Families will be gathering together to swap gifts, share cracker jokes and eat their body weight in Turkey and chocolate! 

Christmas is a time for family, fun, giving and most importantly remembering the birth of our saviour. He is the gift! The greatest gift. 

Wishing everyone a merry Christmas filled with love peace happiness and chocolate ️xxx 

12 days of kindness ...

It's the 12th of December... In jade world that can only mean one thing.... It's time to start the 12 days of Christmas kindness!! 

I started Doing the 12 days of Christmas kindness a couple of years ago and I love it! I do an act of kindness for someone everyday between now and Christmas! I was a bit worried that I wouldn't be well enough to do it this year but thankfully I am! 

I normally plan my Christmas kindness acts in advance but this year I haven't been as well prepared so I'm having to wing it a little ..(anyone who has ever had to work with me will know that I spend a large amount of my life just winging it!) 

So today I wrapped up a box of malteasers .. I originally bought two boxes but I ate one!! .. And posted them through the door of one of my elderly neighbours. The couple that live there are just so sweet and lovely and the way they care for each other after like 70 years of marriage just warms my heart!! I stuck a cute label on the box too :) 

The twelve days of Christmas kindness always helps me feel super Christmassy and it reminds me of what Christmas is all about... Giving. ... Jesus Christ was the gift to the world .. He was the greatest gift and for that I am truly thankful. 12 days of Christmas kindness helps me to kept the CHRIST in Christmas. 

Speaking of kindness this week I left the school where I have worked for the past two and a half years... It was a pretty emotional experience. It is a wonderful school and it has been a wonderful place to work! I made some great friends there some of whom I know will remain my friends for years to come! Saying goodbye to them was very sad and it made me cry ..(thankfully not enough to ruin my makeup!!) .. In an act of super kindness they bought me a leaving gift ... A giraffe charm for my pandora bracelet... I LOVE giraffes!!! They were the best and kindest team I have ever had the opportunity to work with!! They were deffo the dream team!!!

The world is full of opportunities to do good and to make someone's day... Just like a giraffe charm!!!! 

 

I don't know much but I know enough

This is one of my favourite quotes by President Monson. Faith and doubt cannot exist in your mind at the same time. True faith dispels all doubt. While I may not know where I am going or where this path will lead me I trust in The Lord and his plan for me. One of my favourite sayings is it's all part of the plan and I know that's true. My future may be different to the one I had originally planned but I know it will be the one I am supposed to have. I don't have all the answers but there are some things that I do know 

I know little babies come from heaven 

I know God made those tiny hands and hearts

I know rainbows and roses are no accident 

Neither are the sun the moon and stars

I know that death is not the end of my soul

I know something divine lives in us all 

I know there is someone watching over me 

I know my prayers are heard beyond these walls

So when I doubt when there are things in life I just can't figure out 

I trust that God is in control and I hold on to the things I know

Whatever path I walk down I know that I don't walk down it alone. I have no doubts or fears about my future just excitement and faith that The Lord knows what he is doing and I am in safe hands. 

THE BOOK IS BLUE THE CHURCH IS TRUE!!! 

All my peeps will be conforming .... Because it's cool to be a mormon

The other day I was sat in the doctors waiting room rocking my mormon and proud hoodie when a woman asked me why I was a mormon. At first I was just impressed that she hadn't asked me if I was waiting to see a doctor .... This always seems to be the question most people ask in doctors waiting rooms and I've never understood why?? Why else would I be sat there???!!! Anyway, after I had gotten over the shock of the question I had to think of an answer and the only one I could think of was "because it's true and it's awesome" she didn't really know what to say after that!!!!

Part of me wished I had been a little bit more prepared for the question and could have maybe whipped out a BOM from my bag for her as a little bit of waiting room reading.. Unfortunately the only things in my handbag were my purse, keys and a lip gloss, none of which would have helped her understand the gospel Andy more than my original answer did!

After thinking about it however, I decided that I answered the question quite well. She didn't ask me what being a mormon was all about she asked me why I was one and my answer summed it up perfectly. I am a mormon because it is true and I know it is. I have no doubts about that. That is the main reason why I am a member of the church. The second part of my statement is also true. It is awesome. Being a mormon has given me so many blessing and special moments in my life, more than I can count. It has allowed me to really get to know my Heavenly Father and also myself. My membership works as a guide and a moral compass and it has provided me with some of the best friends I could ask for.

Being a mormon is by far the coolest thing you can be... The rest of the world just doesn't know it yet!!!! 

Making ripples

"It only takes one true believer to believe you can still beat the odds" 

I heard this line in a song three years ago and it has left a lasting impression on me. It only takes one true believer to believe you can still beat the odds, it only takes one person to truly believe in something, to believe in change in order for change to happen. Someone somewhere needs to have the idea of change, someone needs to plant the seed. 

I have already mentioned before that I LOVE Christmas! I am the bauble queen, I love the sparkle and the excitement. I find Christmas to be a very magical time and Iove it like a fat kid loves cake! ..apart from the glitter! ... Christmas seems to include an awful lot of glitter. It gets everywhere, into your clothes and carpets and you can never quite get rid of it all no matter how many times you vacuum!! I but on a whole the Christmas season is great and is my favourite time of year. 

Today, however, someone reminded me that Christmas is not a joyful time for everyone. For some people Christmas is a sad and lonely time of the year. A huge number of people, particularly the elderly, will spend Christmas alone, they will have no visitors and see no one over the Christmas season! Other people find Christmas a sad time of year because it reminds them of a loved one they have lost and they no longer wish to join in with the festivities and some people face Christmas not only on their own but out on the streets, homeless cold and hungry. 

Over the past few years things have been a little bit tough in this country and many of us have had to tighten the purse strings a little bit, but most of us are blessed with the basics, we have a home to live in, we have clothes to wear and we have food on our table. Most of us have friends or family who we can spend time with, laugh with and get comfort and support from. I don't have millions of pounds in the bank, I don't live in a massive house and I don't drive a fancy car (mainly because I'm an awesome epileptic) but none of those things matter. I have a wonderful network of friends and family who love me, i have a nice home, i have nice clothes and food to eat. I am incredibly blessed. There are so many people who go without those basic needs! 

I have noticed over the years that while we all complain about the state of the country, we all watch children in need or the charity adverts on the TV and we all talk about how we want things to change, that we want to help those people on the TV and yet how many of us actually do???

How many of us walk past the homeless guy on the street, making a judgement in our heads about how they ended up in their current situation and deciding that they don't deserve our help or that we don't have enough to spare. How many of us see that old lady going about her daily business every day and feel a pang of sadness in our hearts because we know she is lonely and yet we walk past her without speaking? 

Change only comes when one person takes that first step towards it. You don't need to be a millionaire to help those in need you just need to be kind, thoughtful and less judgemental. I had a wonderful experience recently of talking with a homeless man. I sat next to him and we chatted for about 20 minutes. He was a nice guy who had fallen on hard times. Afterwards he thanked me for talking to him and treating him like a human being something which nobody had done in months. Imagine that!!! Imagine not only being homeless, hungry and incredibly sad but then having people treat you like you are worthless and some kind of sub human!! To me that is so incredibly sad!!! 

If this Christmas season everyone made one change, if everyone carried out one act of kindness towards someone else then a change will come! It won't change the world but it will change the lives of those around us! So let's talk to the homeless, visit the old lady who is lonely, take cookies to our neighbours , smile at a stranger in the street. You never know who's life you are changing!!!

Every act of kindness has a ripple effect, you never know how far reaching each ripple may be....  

It's the season to be jolly ,it's also the season to be kind!!!!! 

Bring on the sparkles, mince pies, glitter and that little bit of kindness that will make Christmas truly magical this year!!!! 

The brave don't live forever ..the cautious do not live at all

Life is a journey of crossroads, doors and confusing junctions!! It's a journey of choice and choosing. Some of those junctions are pretty easy to navigate , the choice is simple because we already know where we are going. Other times we arrive at a set of crossroads and have no idea which way to go, we know where we want to be but the satnav has stopped working and we don't know how to get there without it!!!! Do we go left, right or straight on??!!!! In these situations instinct often kicks in and we have a desire to go a certain way but we're not sure if it's right!! It becomes a bit of a dilemma do we follow our instincts or do we sit and wait for the satnav to start working again !! Following our instincts and taking a leap of faith is difficult, it requires faith in ourselves and our own choices but in my opinion it is worth it. We often choose to ignore our instincts because we are afraid of going wrong but the truth is going wrong is ok , messing up is ok and having things not work out is ok too!!! The times when things don't quite turn out the way we wanted teach us valuable lessons and the times when things do work out show us how strong we are. Taking that leap of faith is scary but even if you end up going in the wrong direction at least you are moving and learning and growing. The longer you sit waiting for the satnav to start working again the less progress you are making!!!
The brave may not live forever but the cautious don't live at all! 


Sent from my iPhone

I love to see the temple ...

"I love to see the temple, I'm going there someday, to feel the Holy Spirit to listen and to pray, for the temple is a house of God a place of love and beauty

I love to see the temple I'll go inside someday, I'll covenant  with my father To listen and obey, for the temple is a holy place where we are sealed together , as a child of God I've learned the truth, a family is forever"

I love to see the temple is one of my favourite primary songs. The temple is a holy place and a house of God and just like the song says I do love to see the temple and I have the honour and the privilege of going inside. 

Mormon temples are often seen as being secretive and mysterious, mainly because only worthy members of the church are allowed inside. The work done inside the temples is neither secretive or mysterious it is simply sacred. Some of the most important and precious work carried out in the church is done in the temples. This work itself is not a secret,as a church we happily and openly talk about our belief in families being together forever, and the important work we do for the dead in the temples. We want families to be together forever and we want people to know that they can!!! The ceremonies themselves however are sacred and are not discussed outside of the temple walls. I suppose it's a bit like your own personal prayers, when you talk to Heavenly Father and promise to do things and ask for help etc. it is very personal and is between you and him. You would not want those words and promises broadcast to world,the temple ceremonies are the same. They are personal and sacred and do not need to be discussed or put on display for all to see. 

I find being in the temple a beautiful, humbling experience. I am filled with the spirit whenever I am there. It fills my heart with peace and joy and I feel my saviour walking right beside me. The peace of the temple allows for personal prayer and contemplation and provides the perfect setting to receive personal revelation. On my most recent trip to the temple, one which was extremely special to me I was blessed with the answers I had so desperately being searching for. I have been confused as to whether the new plans I was making for my future were right and I received my answer as I sat quietly in the temple. It didn't come in the way I had expected it to but it did come. Sometimes your dreams just aren't what life has planned but what The Lord has got planned for you is even better than any dream you could have. I know that this is true. I know the church is true , I know it with all my heart , mind and soul. I know that my redeemer lives and nothing testifies of this to me more than the spirit I fell within the walls of the temple. 

I am grateful that I can be with my family forever!!! Forever families are awesome!! Being a mormon is awesome!!! 

It's beginning to look a lot like winter ....

Winter is definetly upon us now..... The nights are getting darker, the mornings are frosty and the hats and gloves have come out to play.  None of these things excite me greatly, although I do enjoy purchasing my new winter hat and coat each year! I would probably enjoy the winter weather a little bit more if it snowed but unfortunately in England all we get is rain and the occasional burst of slushy snow... Everyone knows you can't make a snowman with slushy snow! I do however find part of the winter season exciting..... Winter means CHRISTMAS!!! 

Some people feel that the C word should not be mentioned or even thought about until December. I however, do not share that thought!!! I believe that'd once Halloween is out of the way the Christmas festivities can officially commence. I don't put my Christmas tree or decorations up until December but I do use November to prepare for the big day and to build up the excitement!!! As soon as November hits I start making gifts, wrapping gifts, planning my Christmas baking , playing Christmas music and making decorations!! I love the feeling that Christmas brings and I like to have that feeling with me for as long as possible. 

I also use November to think about my saviour and all he has done for me. As I ponder his birth I think about what a precious and priceless gift he was not just to me but to the world. 

There doesn't really need to be a particular time we can give gifts to others. We can give any time of the year but If we ever did need some inspiration to give and maybe a little push Christmas offers the perfect opportunity!! A gift doesn't have to be big or expensive, it doesn't even have to cost money!! A cute note or card to make someone smile does wonders for the soul!!! 

This year I have decided to spread smiles and Christmas cheer to those around me in whatever ways I can!! This year my Christmas will be more about giving and less about receiving!!! 

Epilepsy .... A part of me

During the three years since I was diagnosed with epilepsy I have come to terms with it somewhat and have adjusted to the changes that such a diagnoses brings. I am used to the feelings of déjà vu and I am used to losing parts of my day. I am now used to the twitches and headaches that accompany epilepsy and I have adapted my thinking to recognise potential dangers. I don't go out on my own if I don't feel well and I wear a medical alert band.

While I wouldn't choose to have epilepsy I refuse to let it control my life. Epilepsy has just become a part of me. Unfortunately sometimes other people don't think like that. Some people think that having epilepsy means you are damaged. That isn't true.

My name is Jade I am 25 years old, I have dark hair and green eyes. I live by the sea but I dislike sand and the way it feels on my toes. I love superheroes and comic books so I guess you could say I am a bit of a geek. I was born in the summer and that might be why I love the sun so much. I hate the cold. I have some great friends and sometimes I laugh with them so much that my sides hurt. I am a mormon and I go to church every Sunday. I am clumsy and would make a rubbish ballerina. I get upset when I watch sad movies and I love my cat. I have had my heart broken and I have lost people I love. I have a huge dislike of bullies and I have cried tears over unkind words that have been spoken. My hair straightener is one of my favourite possessions and I am afraid of the dark.I am an individual just like you. I have my own personality and my own quirks just like you. One of my differences is that I have epilepsy. You can not see my illness but that does not mean it isn't there. It affects my life and the way I live it but it doesn't change who I am.I am not damaged, broken or weak. I am just me. I am unique. 

Loss of the brave

When I woke up this morning I received some sad news which not only shocked me but greatly upset me too. For months now I have been following the story of a brave young girl called Claudia who had been diagnosed at five with a brain tumor and was given just weeks to live. That was three years ago and she managed to defy the odds. It was a sad and yet beautiful story to follow. Her parents shared her high and low points along with their own. The tide appeared to be turning for them a few days ago when they managed to purchase a new house, one which would suit Claudia better. Unfortunately the lull in the storm finally broke for them and sadly last night Claudia passed away in her sleep. I can not imagine the grief and pain that her parents must be feeling. I can't imagine the agony that is overwhelming them right now. Claudia's fight was courageous and I know that her family, while heartbroken, will be extremely proud of her. I am in no doubt that Claudia is in the arms of her saviour right now but I can't help by thinking about her family. The sting of death it seems is reserved for those left behind. 

Claudia and her family are the type of people I would class as brave. 

I can only hope that The Lord will comfort them during this time. Their lives will never be the same again but I hope that one day they manage to find peace. 

Faith is a wonderful thing but sometimes I wonder if there are some things it simply can not fix. 

Baking and making

Baking and making are without a doubt two of my most favourite things! It might be because I love to eat and baking supplies me with a steady stream of treats to satisfy my sugar cravings! I also like pretty things and making stuff allows me to fill my home with pretty things to look at.  I also get a sense of satisfaction when I have finished either a baking or making project. I'm pretty sure this is because there is nothing I really excel at in life, my talents are neither in your face or hidden they just don't exist! So when I have created something by myself I do feel a tiny little bit of pride.

This week I got myself into a creating mood! With Christmas fast approaching (It's scary I know) I decided to attempt a ribbon wreath!! I couldn't find a tutorial for the one I wanted to make but being a resourceful mormon girl (and also a girl who is really bad at following instruction and recipes and tends to just make them up as she goes along anyway) I set about making it the way I thought it should be done. 

After raiding my craft supplies and finding the huge amounts of pretty ribbons I have stashed over the years (almost like a secret hoarder) I set about making it!! It only took me about an hour and a half and it was done and even I have to say it looked pretty good!!!!! 

I think by the time Christmas rolls around Santa might struggle to get down my chimney due to the amount of wreaths that will no doubt be surrounding my house!! 

Finding joy in the journey

Over the past month I have realised that sometimes life sucks! Sometimes life can seem unfair, rubbish and dark. It can make us sad and grumpy and deeply unhappy. The darkness can overwhelm us. We become so weighed down by the negativities that we can no longer see the positives. We fail to see a way out of the darkness. We lose sight of who we are and where we are going. We lose our eternal perspective. Just recently I have learned that it is so important during the darker times to remember that these trials and hardships,this darkness is only temporary! We are almost conditioned as human beings to face moments of weakness and darkness and to feel lost but we need to remember that Heavenly Father will light up that darkness, he will lead us home if we let him but we have to keep going. Spiritual lightness rarely comes to those who are sitting in the dark. We have to keep moving and eventually we will find that light. There are opposites to everything. The scriptures tell us this is true. That means that there is an opposite to the sadness and darkness. There is joy and light. Eventually, no matter how long or dark the tunnel is The Lord will lead us to the light at the end of it. We just have to keep moving and trusting in him. 

The truth is that light that we so desperately need in those moments of darkness are all around us we just fail to see the . The kind acts of others, this beautiful world we live in, the creatures GOd has made, the opportunities we have to feel the rain on our skin and the wind in our face. Those things we often complain about and choose to view as a negative experience in our lives should actually be a positive. There are many people in this world who do not get to experience those blessings. I complain all the time about different things, especially the weather but one after some serious contemplating I know that I am blessed to be able to experience all four seasons. When we begin to turn the negative into the positive and choose to look at life and the world from a different perspective the light we are searching for will be switched on. It will illuminate the darkness that we feel. Where there is sadness there is also joy. We just need to find it, embrace it and enjoy it! 

Find joy in the journey because life is meant to be enjoyed and not endured. 

Smile, be happy, you are exactly where you're supposed to be. 

Less grief, more relief

My three things a day I am thankful for challenge appears to have fallen flat on its face this week! I started with the best of intentions but unfortunately events way beyond my control stopped it dead in its tracks.
On Sunday, much to my disappointment, I had a massive seizure at church!! When I say massive I mean like a 15 minute whopper with ambulance being called and everything. To be totally honest I don't really remember much about Sunday at all, I just remember waking up in hospital with a banging headache and Dawn, the relief society president sat my by bed. For those non Mormons amongst us relief society is an organisation of all the sisters or women in the church.
While I have no memory of the event I have been informed that Dawn and another wonderful lady called Jill came to my rescue. Jill made sure I didn't bang my head and Dawn spent four hours sat in A&E while I slept. These two ladies are not related to me , although they have both adopted me as their church daughter, and yet they couldn't do enough to help me.
The relief society motto is charity never faileth, and on Sunday that was most definitely true. When I was 18 and made to join relief society I was a bit gutted, I thought it was going to be full of old women talking about aching joints and hip replacements. I even gave relief society the nickname of grief society. Over the years I have come to realise that relief society is actually a wonderful organisation to belong to. I have seen and been a part of the wonderful and warm acts of kindness and charity that the sisters in my branch express to others.
On Sunday I was blessed with an outpouring of love from two amazing sisters, who went above and beyond their duties to look after me. My life has been blessed and my heart permanently changed towards relief society, and those two wonderful sisters will always hold a special place In My heart.
So here are three things I am thankful for
1- being part of a wonderful relief society
2- living in a country that has free healthcare
3- having Dawn and Jill in my life

Charity never faileth in Bridlington

Bruises and blessings

"Count your blessings instead of your complaints" I love this quote. On those days when I am feeling a little bit down or fed up it reminds me to be thankful for all that I do have and all that I am blessed with. Earlier this week I had another epileptic seizure. Having seizures is nothing new, this time however I managed to hit my head and face and am now sporting a lovely bruise on my left temple. I wouldn't say I was particularly vein but having the bruise on my face did make me feel a little self conscious and in turn a little down. Then I was reminded of that quote. I think if I wrote a list of all the complaints I have they would probably fit on a post it note,in comparison I would struggle to fit all of the blessings I have in my life on two sides of A4 paper. 

I have seen on Facebook that people have been writing down three things a day that they are thankful for so I have decided to do that too. I am going to write three things a day that I am thankful for for a week! So here is today's list 

1- The Gospel !!! Nothing makes me happier than the abundance of blessings that come from following the gospel! 

2- I am blessed to have all that I need - I am lucky to have a home, a job, and enough food and water to eat. There are so many in this world who do not have these basic things. 

3- The wonderful people I have in my life - I am blessed to have amazing people in my life, people who look after me, inspire me, care for me and love me just the way I am! 

Imperfections

When Heavenly Father made me he did not make me perfect, he made me with many faults and imperfections. Recently I have had some of those imperfections pointed put to me. Many of these faults I was already aware of, I don't pay enough attention and I am forever checking my phone to name but a few. Having them pointed out to me was at first, a little painful. While I am aware that I am far from perfect it still hurt having my faults pointed out to me. I felt like I had failed in some way. The most painful part of the whole thing, was that my faults and imperfections cost me something very special.
This situation, though painful, got me thinking about why we have imperfections in the first place. Heavenly Father gave us imperfections in order to help us grow. No one in this world is perfect, no one will go through life without making mistakes and messing up, being human it is almost what we are designed to do! It is also why we have the atonement. Often in our lives our imperfections will be pointed out to us and we will be able to see them crystal clear. Is it painful , yes. Is it necessary ,most definitely. Sometimes The Lord needs to remind us of our imperfections in order to help us change , grow as people and become more Christlike. Often The Lord will use others to help us to see those imperfections for ourselves. He wants us to become perfect, he wants us to become like him. That is after all the goal. Just like a gardener prunes his bushes and cuts them back in order to help them to grow, sometimes The Lord needs to do that with us too. It may hurt and be painful , but it is also necessary.
While I am sad that my faults have cost me something great, I am grateful that Now I can see my imperfections I can work on correcting them.

Happy days and healing hearts

"The heartaches we feel in this life are preparing us for something greater"
When I was younger I believed that the heart was actually shaped like the love heart shapes emblazoned on my pink princess bedding. I also believed that a broken heart was a physical thing and looked like those necklaces that were a heart split in two.
As I got older I learnt that not only does a heart look nothing like those love hearts on my sheets but also  that heartbreak and heartache is an emotional feeling rather than a physical thing.
No one enjoys being hurt, either physically, mentally or emotionally. Sometimes we can be hurt by the people who we care about the most. Often those people who we trust the most can carry out acts or say words that shock us and hurt us more than if someone we don't know had done the same act.  Emotional heartache is often the worst, unlike broken bones and cuts and bruises, there is no plaster cast or antiseptic cream that can be put on your heart to help heal it. Unfortunately , sometimes life hurts, it needs to in order to help us grow. Does this knowledge make it hurt any less? The simple answer to that is no it does not.
We do however have a promise that Heavenly Father can and will heal our hearts for us, whatever has hurt us, if we will let him. Heavenly Father also promises us that those heartaches we will feel will be for our good. Sometimes things don't work out the way we expected them to because The Lord is preparing us for something better.  I have learnt that the best person to entrust your heart to is The Lord, trust in him and he will lead us along the path that is right for us until we end up exactly where we are supposed to be.
Yesterday I realised that the best way to get over pain , whatever that pain me be, is to smile!! I got to spend some time with my best friend vikki and her sister Bethany. Bethany is in a wheelchair and probably suffers more pain than you or I can imagine and yet I have never yet heard her complain or murmur. She is always smiling. She is filled with the spirit and her laugh is infectious. She has taught me to laugh and smile through adversity and challenges. She fills me heart with love,peace and joy and makes me feel grateful for all that I have. I am truly blessed to have this wonderful, beautiful and amazing daughter of God in my life.
Yesterday, as we sat eating Ice cream in the rain, I felt no sadness, only joy. I can honestly say, at that moment, there was nowhere else I would rather have been, and no one else I would rather have been with.
I feel blessed to have such wonderful people in my life, people who heal my heart and help me understand that I am a daughter of God and that I am blessed.
I know that everyone comes into my life for a reason, either to bless it or to help Heavenly Father teach me the lessons I need to learn and for that I am truly thankful.

I'll go where you want me to go ...

"I'll go where you want me it go dear lord, over mountain or plain or sea, I'll say what you want me to say dear lord, I'll be who you want me to be" - I'll go where you want me to go is one of my favourite hymns!!!! I love it. It is commonly associated with missionary work and being called to serve wherever The Lord feels you need to be. I think, however, that it can be applied to all aspects of our lives, wether we are missionaries or not.
I have talked about following heavenly fathers plan for us and setting aside our own many times, and I have discussed how difficult this is. One thing I haven't really talked about, however, is the wonderful and amazing blessings that are poured out from heaven when we do the things The Lord has always intended us to do!!!!
We are all children of our Heavenly Father, he made us and he knows each of us individually, just like our earthly fathers do. He knows all that we are capable and all that we can and will become if we are faithful.
Sometimes following the lords plan can put us in situations we are neither comfortable or happy with! Sometimes following that plan means being rejected and hurt. Sometimes that plan makes us feel like we are in the wrong place and that the world is moving on without us and we are still stood in the same place. Often faithful members of the church wonder why things are not working out for them , when they are doing all the right things and making the right choices. During these times,I have learnt, that it is important to remember that Heavenly Father knows what he is doing! He may allow us to feel those feelings of rejection and hurt at that time because he has got something so much better planned for us in the future!!
I know that the negative experiences I have had this past year, the ones which have left me feeling hurt and confused, have only been for my benefit, for my own good and learning. The Lord has been preparing me to do his work. Some of that preparation has been hard and painful but I am thankful for it. It has strengthened my testimony and helped me to grow closer to my Heavenly Father.  I love him and I know that he loves me and that he is preparing me to do wonderful things.
I trust in him and his plan completely.
I will go where you want me to go dear Lord .......

Answered prayers and rainy Sundays

Today I have been truly blessed with the undeniable knowledge that my prayers are not only heard beyond the four walls of my room but that they are also answered!
For weeks now I have been struggling with the new paths my life and The Lord are taking me down and I have felt lost and without a purpose. I have pleaded with The Lord for help, guidance and comfort. I have poured my heart out each day to my Heavenly Father and I have to admit that at times I have felt like I was going unheard.
Then today that comfort came in the words of a wonderful speaker in sacrament meeting!
Today Bridlington branch , or costa del Brid as I like to call it, was visited by our high councilman and his wife, Brother and Sister Hughes. Let me share something with you about these two wonderful people. I have only met them a handful of times and yet they remember my name, they remember what I do for a living and my personal circumstances. The light of the gospel shines from them and having them visit the branch is always a treat.
Today Sister Hughes gave  a wonderful talk in sacrament. She talked about making prayer meaningful, made some wonderful comments about scripture study and truly had the spirit with her. Then she said something which gave me goosebumps and hit me like an electric shock to my heart. She said this "you can sit and let the pain and all the rubbish that goes with it get to you or you can do something ace"
Now I am sure when Sister Hughes planned her talk she probably didn't give this tiny quote much thought, however to me, that one simple sentence was an answer to the prayers I had been saying for weeks. I can choose to feel sorry for myself and the circumstances I have found myself in , or I can trust in The Lord , follow his will and do something ace and help others come unto Christ!!
What an amazing blessing it is to have our prayers answered and to know that Heavenly Father hears us! Prayers are not always answered in the way we expect or even when we expect them, but they do come , in the lords time and in ways we sometimes don't imagine.
Prayer really is the passport to peace.

Sometimes the right decision is the hardest

Something I have learnt over the past year is that as you get older your perception on the world changes. Those things which seemed so important to you when you were younger become trivial and those things which you always thought you were too young to care about suddenly become a huge part of your reality!
People often talk about going out and "finding yourself" when you are young. When I was younger that concept baffled me. I didn't understand what I needed to find. I knew who I was, I was Jade, I went to school, I worked at morrisons, I  loved my family and my friends, I wanted to travel and explore new places. I knew what my dreams were and I assumed they would just all fall
Into place as I got older. What was there to find??!!!
For years I went through life on cruise control , I went travelling and explored new places , I got my dream job and I assumed I still knew exactly who I was and what I was supposed to do with my life.
Then something happened, I got epilepsy. Not particularly tragic and I am aware that there are worse things I could have gotten , however epilepsy changed my life and my perception of the world and also of me. Suddenly I realised that a lot of those dreams I had imagined would come true probably wouldn't now! That left me wondering who I was? And who would I become? I had planned my life and epilepsy was not something I had planned into it!
As my perception changed I realised that at 25 years old I actually don't know who I am, I am completely lost!  Those things which seemed so important to me before now seem pointless and instead have been replaced with new worries and hopes.
Luckily I have the guidance of my Heavenly Father to help me. I can honestly say that I have never prayed as much as I have done over the past month in my entire life. The scripture I walk by faith and not by sight has never meant so much!
Trusting in The Lord and his timings is difficult, it's the hardest thing I have ever had to do. It's made even more difficult when the things The Lord would have me do are not in tune with what I would like to do. It's hard to do one thing when your heart is screaming at you to do something else! However, I have faith in
My Heavenly Father and his plan for me. I know he loves me and I trust him completely. Giving The Lord my heart is hard and so is walking by faith but I know I am not alone and I know that everything will work out in the end , just the way The Lord wants it to. Sometimes the right decision is also the hardest.

Turning 25 ...

Yesterday was the big day!! I turned 25!!!!!! While I know 25 is not a particularly special age I am excited about it. Yesterday marked the start of my bucket list challenge to complete the list before I turn 30!! I have finished editing my bucket list and am now ready to rock and roll!!!! ( when I say editing I mean adding a few new things to the original list) 
Some of the things on my list I have already completed , such as the trip to Australia and seeing boyzone in concert!! I have decided to leave these on the list for two reasons , one I didn't want to change the list too much, this whole challenge is about getting back the positive attitude I had when I originally wrote the list and I feel that changing it too much would change those feelings. Two I think having items completed on the list will encourage me to carry on and complete the rest!!! 
So here is my list ......

•Become a teacher
•Run a half marathon
•Run a marathon
•Raise a million for Macmillan
•Be in two places at once
•Skydive
•Visit America 
•Visit Hawaii 
•Watch a west end show 
•Stay in a posh hotel 
•Learn to surf
•Dance in the rain
•See one of my fav boy bands in •concert either boyzone or west life 
•Be a princess for the day 
•Be part of my own fairytale 
•Serve a mission
•Ride a bike 
•Go to Paris
•Learn French 
•Go to old Trafford and watch a match 
•Go on a massive family holiday 
•Learn to knit and make a blanket
•Learn to sew and make a skirt 
•Make a quilt 
•Roll down a hill 
•Swim in a lake 
•Go to Australia 
•Make a wish in the trevvy fountain 
•Meet someone famous 
•Memorise my favourite scriptures
•Have my own blog 
•Go to Disneyland 
•Start my own summer camp
•Help disadvantaged children 
•Learn to make all meals from scratch 
•Make the best ice cream sundae ever 
•Ride a roller coaster 
•Build my own house 
•Win a gold medal 

I have no idea how I am going to accomplish most of these things but I am excited for the challenge! When I wrote the list my trusty Nokia 3310 did not have the internet and therefore no google to research just how hard winning a gold medal is or the how being in two places at once is pretty much impossible!!! 
Despite these minor problems , however, I am excited for the new adventures ahead!!!! 
Time to find my passport .... And lace up my running shoes :) 

How will you know it's the right decision if you never make it

The title of this blog is a question that has been playing on my mind alot recently. How will you know it's the right decision if you never make it?
Sometimes in life we are left standing at a crossroads, needing to make a decision but feeling too afraid to incase it turns out to be the wrong one!!!
One of my favourite scriotures is the same scripture that Joesph Smith himself read before going into the grove of trees .. James 1:5 "if any of ye lack wisdom let him ask of God" The obvious thing to do when we are struggling to make a secision is to ask Heavenly Father to help us make it. We already know he has a plan for us, he knows what we can do and all we can be if we are faithful and he is always and will always guide us if we are willing to let him.
Search, ponder and pray has been my motto for finding answers and making decisions for years but what happens when you get the answer... or at least you think you do. what do you do then? What happens when the answer you recieve is not the one you wanted or when you're not sure if the answer is even an answer at all. I have experienced these feelings more than even in the past year, as I have been thinking and planning my future. I have had to  make decisions which have scared me and if I am totally honest when I have been making them I have not been 100% sure they have been the right ones!!!!!
Then I found that quote and I realised that sometimes we have to trust in the Holy Ghost, put our faith in our Heavenly Father, trust our instincts and jump!!!
Yes it's scary and sometimes you may go wrong, but going wrong is a part of life!! We need to experience the negative in order to appreciate the good!!
I wonder how many blessings or special experiences I have missed out on by giving into my fear of getting it wrong in the past.
I am tired of standing on the shoreline too afraid to dip my toes in the water incase I fall, so from now on I am giving up being afraid and I am going to jump in with both feet!! I know that as long as I am faithful I will never jump alone because my Heavenly Father will be right there with me!!
After all how will I know if it is the right decision if I never make it!!

The four C's... cooling feet, criminals, cows and concerts!!!

On Saturday I got to complete one of the items on my bucket list!!!!! ( the bucket list I have almost finished editing!!!) My best friend Vikki and I went to see Boyzone in concert!!!! I have wanted to see them for like 20 years so you can imagine how excited I was!!!!!!! Vikki almost had to hold me back and stop me swimming across the lake that was inbetween the crowd and the stage in order to get to the lads!!!! ( what a stupid place to put a lake!!) Saturday was a gorgeous day too!!! So hot!!! Such a rare occurrence in England!

Heres what you need to know about Vikki... When I say she is my best friend I really mean it!! She is the person who knows everything about me, the person who I can talk to about anything and the person who is usually stood right next to me whenever I am doing something stupid!!!! Vikki is also a shining example to me in the church. She loves the gospel and it shows in all that she does and says. She shows me how to be a better person without judging me or pointing out my mistakes, she simply loves me and encourages me!!!! I love her like a fat kid loves cake!!!!
This weekend I have felt truly blessed to have friends like Vikki in my life. I felt particularly blessed on Saturday as I got to spend some long overdue time with Vikki!!
We cooled our feet on fans, met a criminal on the train, sang our hearts out to Boyzone and played eye spy until we cried with laughter!!! ( apparently pretend people is not something you can eye spy!)
The concert was most definitely worth the wait and I am thankful that I got to complete an item on my list with such a wonderful person alongside me!!
Life is not easy, we are never sure what lies around the corner, we never really understand the plan that God has for us, but life is also filled with beautiful precious moments that fill our hearts with joy and make us feel blessed to be alive. It is those moments that fill our hearts with joy and make us feel blessed to be alive, it is those moments that make the harder paths worth walking! :)
Life is good ... Bring on the rest of the bucket list!!!!!!!!!!
                                                                                          

Bucket lists and birthday wishes

On Thursday I had an appointment with my neurologist ... well actually I had an appointment with a new neurologist..who's Greek and awesome!!!! In the space of 40 minutes he changed all my medication, confirmed TLE and booked my future MRI and EEG tests!!!! I left that appointment feeling the happiest I have ever felt after a hospital appointment!!!! I know that this is down to my Heavenely Father and his love for me. Days like Thursday just testify to me that my Heavenly Father is there, that my prayers are not only heard beyond these four walls but that they are also answered :)

Previously I said that this week, having been filled with epilepsy problems, had been a little tough but that I was determined to look at life through more positive eyes. The same eyes I used years ago when I wrote my bucket list!!
So I have set myself a challenge ... ( drumroll please) .... I am going to complete all of the items on my bucket list before I turn 30!!!!!!!!!!!! I turn 25 on Thursday so this gives me 5 years to accomplish everything!! Its a little crazy but crazy is what I am good at :)
I have been busy editing the wonderful bucket list of joy in preperation for this new challenge!! Crossing off the things I have already achieved, such as going to Australia and learning to knit!!

Here I am fulfilling a dream and feeding kangaroos in Australia!!!!
I have also being adding a few new items to my list!!! Things that back when I was 14 I would never have thought of!!
I know that my Heavenly Father leads and guides my life, that I don't walk down any path alone!! I am thankful for the knowledge I have that as long as you keep walking help will come, maybe not at that moment and maybe not in this life but eventually help and relief will come!!!
I am excited for the new adventures I am going to be blessed with in my life!!
The gospel is beautiful, wonderful and true, I know it with all my heart. We are not promised that this life will be easy only that it will be worth it :)
I say .. TLE, bucket lists, challenges, adventures, difficult times ahead...BRING IT ON ..my Heavenly Father has got this :)

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass ... It's about learning to dance in the rain

So this week I suffered from more epilepsy problems than Mormon problems!!
Even though I am more used to having seizures now then I used to be it still and will always suck having a seizure. It isn't even so much the actual seizure that is that bad .. Most seizures only last a matter of minutes, it's the way you feel after. It's that skull crushing headache that lasts for two days after the seizure , or the emotional roller coaster that you go on for at least 24 hours after , where you can't quite get your emotions in check , or that horrible feeling that comes when your mind is working at a slower pace than a sloth.
I am very lucky to be blessed with a great group of friends and family who love and support me , however sometimes one of the biggest problems is when people expect you to be ok minutes after the seizure. It is so frustrating having to explain to someone that yes you still have a headache the day after. However these things are sent to try us and as u said I am very blessed to have family and friends who love and support me :) :)
The events of this week have had me thinking about life, the challenges it brings and the ways that I personally deal with them!!
Earlier this week I found the bucket list I wrote years ago when I was 14! The list is huge, so I obviously had lots of hopes and dreams back when I was 14! Re-reading it some of the things I had written made me laugh , such as being in two places at once or winning a gold medal.. Even though I am dangerously uncoordinated at most sports!!
Even though some of my hopes and dreams were obviously a little bit unrealistic , rereading that list has made me realise that back when I was 14 I looked at life with a different perspective. I looked past the problems and the difficulties and instead focused on the future. I believed in myself and in all I wanted to achieve in my life and I know that when I wrote that list I truly believed that everything was possible!! What a wonderful way to look at life! Back then I guess I just trusted in gods plan and got on with things, having faith and hope for myself and the future!!
I have decided that I need to regain that perspective that I seem to have lost! That I need to stop worrying about the problems or challenges I may face and instead live my life the way I want to, believing in myself and my dreams and trusting always in The Lord and his timing :)
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass it's about learning to dance in the rain .... Someone pass me my dancing shoes and let's get wet!

He to rescue me from danger interposed his precious blood ...

"Jesus sought me when a stranger wandering from the fold of God, he to rescue me from danger interposed his precious blood" ..this is one of my favourite lines from one of my favourite songs/hymns Come Thou Fount. (I am actually a little bit sad that it is no longer in our hymn book!)
I love it because it reminds me of the atonement of Christ and the reasons why the atonement was needed!!!!! ..Jesus Christ died and "interposed his precious blood" not only to allow me, you and everyone to be resurrected but also to allow us to be rescued from the danger of sin and to return home to our heavenly father, to be able to live with him again, IF we are faithful , worthy and keep his commandments!!! What a wonderful gift and a beautiful promise!!!
The atonement of the saviour is something we have talked about a lot in my house recently. For those people who don't know me very well I come from a part member family and the part of my family that is a member is, for the most part, inactive. Over the past few weeks, I have been practising sharing the gospel and talking about the principles and ordinances with my Dad!!! At the beginning of our little chats and mini lessons I have to say he was not overly enthusiastic , especially when on one occasion listening to me discuss how faith leads to baptism caused him to miss Holland score a goal during the world cup! However, as our lessons and chats progressed something changed and something wonderful happened, my Dad started to enjoy our chats!!! I would love to take credit for this change of heart and say that it was because of my wonderful teaching skills but I know that it was all down to Heavenly Father and the Holy Ghost!!!
During one of our chats I recieved one of the greatest gifts my Dad could ever give me. Something I have wanted for years and honestly thought I would never get. I got to hear him bear his testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ and the truthfulness of the book of mormon. I had the privilage and the honor of hearing him tell me,with tears in his eyes, how much he loves his saviour and how he knows that his saviour loves him because just as the song lyrics say he interposed his precious blood for him so that all of his mistakes and his short comings can be taken away and he can be made clean again.
Today I got to see my dad at church, partaking of the sacrament, remembering and renewing his convanats. What a blessing and a privilage that was.
Hearing my fathers testimony has only stengthened my own testimony of the atonement of Christ and  I am truly thankful for the wonderful and remarkable gift that it is. I don't think I will ever or can ever fully understand or comprehend just what the saviour did for me , but I do know that on days like today, when my heart is so filled with love and the spirit ,I feel truly blessed because of all the things the atonement brings to my life and the ways in which it blesses me everyday.I love my heavenly father with all my heart and I look forward to giving my heart to him and serving him.
THE BOOK IS BLUE THE CHURCH IS TRUE!!

giving up something good , getting something so much better!!!!

Working in a foundation unit I spend my days telling children that they can whatever they want to be if they are willing to put in the work!!! To a degree I suppose this is true, when we apply ourselves we can become whatever it is we want to be, a doctor, a teacher, anything should be and will be possible if we are willing to work for it, at least this is the attitude I try to instil in the children I work with. However, recently I have found myself thinking about how true this is ?? Should we really want to become all that WE want to be?? or should we be willing to let ourselves be moulded into all that the lord knows we CAN become???
Often, our will is different to the will of the Lord. I know that this is so true in my case!! Sometimes it is difficult and almost painful to allow Heavenly Father to take the wheel and guide us , often down paths that we had not planned to take ourselves. The journey can be bumpy and can bruise not only our hearts but also our egos!! It can include us being told that we are wrong or that our ideas and thoughts are not quite in tune with the Lords thinking. Im a pretty stubborn person and I have to say I find this difficult... No one likes to be told that they are wrong ..especially me!!! Sadly I have seen this process push some people away from the person who loves them the most, their Heavenly Father. It is important, however, to remember that during this time of pruning and perfecting , that our Heavenly Father has a perfect Knowelege, he knows us, he knows us perfectly and he knows all that we can become if we are willing to allow him to perfect us!!!! Relying on the saviour doesn't mean giving up our identity it means giving ourselves to him to allow him to change us into who he knows we can become. Sometimes we have to give up our own ideas and plans for our lives in order to achieve something so much better :)

trading facebook for that mormon book .....

We live in a world today filled with technology, we all have smart phones, I pads, tablets, laptops and it seems that no matter where we go in the world we can stay connected with our family and friends and share our experiences with them regardless of how far away they are from us!! Now I LOVE social media. Facebook, twitter, instagram, snapchat , all allow me to keep in contact with family and friends and share wonderful news and events with them. It feels great to be a part of their lives and in turn have them be a part of mine! Social media can also be a wonderful tool when it comes to sharing the gospel. We can share videos, music , scriptures and mormon messages through these sites, some missions have even joined facebook!!!!! Its amazing!!

However, someone has recently pointed out to me that maybe all the technology we have and the social media we are all so interested in being a part of is actually isolating us from the world that we live in and those that we share our world with!! We live in a world where we care more about what our lives look like on a screen than what they look like to the real world and more importantly to our Heavenly Father. I have hundreds of friends on my facebook account but I wonder how many of those friends actually really know me?? I wonder how much time I waste looking at facebook and updating it with useless status' ( I've been known to put some pretty pointless and rubbish ones) or looking at random pictures of cats wearing hats (WHY??!!!!)

I wonder how many friends I have ignored because I've been too busy texting or updating my status and I wonder how many times I have allowed myself to become upset because of something I have read on there! I have also been wondering if I have allowed all of this technology and social media to interfere in my relationship with my Heavenly Father!!! Its hard to receive personal revelation and direction when your eyes are glued to a screen and it is hard to study the scriptures when your phone is beeping every few seconds because someone likes your comment or status.

Recently I have been trying harder to listen for that still small voice more, to draw my heart closer to his and to follow his will. I have realised that the times when this is the hardest to do are the times when I am most distracted.

So I have decided , in preparation for the future endeavours my Heavenly Father would have me do, and to help me learn to appreciate this wonderful world around me and the amazing people that my heavenly father has given me in my life I am setting myself a challenge … that challenge is to go without facebook and social media for a week. ( This may not seem like a big deal for some people but I check my facebook all the time so its going to be a challenge!!)

I am excited to see the world again through new fresh eyes , I am excited to get out there and explore and discover without my phone in my pocket, I am excited to find me :)

today is the day.. show your courage :)

 "sometimes courage is the little voice that says I will try again tomorrow" - president Monson
What does it mean to be brave or to be courageous? I have been asking myself this question recently. I think there is a belief within the world that being brave requires a certain type of person or character, such as the superheroes we watch in the movies, or that we need to jump off a bridge or out of a plane in order to be classed as being brave or courageous. I agree that carrying out these acts does indeed require a large amount of courage and I would probably not be throwing myself off of a bridge with only an elastic band to save me from death, however I don't agree that those are the only instances in life when we show bravery and courage. I think that we have the opportunity to show courage and bravery in our everyday lives.
Recently someone told me that there is a difference between bravery and insanity, they were right yes there is. Being brave however and having the courage to face your fears does not make you insane it simply makes you strong, stronger than you were before and stronger than the person sitting at home too afraid to try. As members of the church we show small acts of courage every day when we choose to stand up for those things that we believe in. When we stand up and say this is what I believe and this is why I do what I do we are showing courage, we are being brave!!!!
The scriptures are full of stories ( way too many to mention!!) of prophets who were brave and courageous! If they can have the faith to be courageous then why cant we??!!!!
Many people assume being brave means not being afraid but this is so not true, "courage is not the absence of fear but the mastery of it" when we face our fears, choose to be brave, witht he help of the Lord we can overcome them. I know that to be true :)
After being diagnosed with epilepsy I lost all my courage and was afraid of life!! But through faith and the help of my heavenly father I am learning to be brave again and its truly wonderful!!! Life is to be enjoyed not endured!!!
"Twenty years from now you will be more disapointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did so throw away the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbour,catch the wind in your sails live, dream , discover" Mark Twain

I may have epilepsy but epilepsy does not have me

I appriciate the fact that this blog entry may not be to everyones taste and if it's not to yours feel free to stop reading it. Today I want to talk about my epilepsy, the gospel and other people's attitudes and what happens when you put all 3 together.
Those people who know me well will know that I am not big on sharing and although I think I have blogged about my epilepsy before, it's not something I ever really feel the need to talk about. Why? because epilepsy may be in my life but it does not own my life, Yes I am epileptic but having epilepsy does not define me.
I have only been epileptic for 3 years, so some of it is still pretty new to me. Something that has really surprised me is the attitude some people have towards epilepsy and those with it. Now I know that back in the olden days people suffering with epilepsy were thought to be posessed by evil spirits and seizures were a result of those spirits trying to get out! I put this down to a lack of knowledge and understanding in those days and I had thought that this mentality had been left behind along with performing labotomys and burning witches at the stake, it would appear however, that I am wrong. Recently someone told me that I am "of the devil" and "evil" and are being punished by God because I have epilepsy!! My reaction ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!! Now correct me if I am wrong but you wouldn' t go up to someone suffering with cancer and tell them that they have this terrible illness because they are "evil" or because they have done something wrong and are being punished by God would you?? No of course you wouldn't. I would be lying if I said that those words didn't hurt me because they did. So I did what Ive always done, I turned to the scriptures. Not because I believed there was any truth in what the crazy person was telling me but because I know that the answers I am searching for and the comfort I need can always be found in the scriptures. Heres what I found. 1NEPHI 11:27 - "I know that he loveth his children, nevertheless I do not know the meaning of all things" (ive used this scripture before i know but i love it )  - I love this scripture!!! Nephi knew that Heavenly Father loves his children, we don't have the answers to everything but we do know that God loves us. He is not a mean God. He is not going to punish us with illness. He would never do that. It is not in his nature.
2 NEPHI 2:2 - " he shall consecrate thine afflictions for thy gain"  - our trials, illnesses and afflictions, however painful, are for our learning and for our good. So I have epilepsy and someone else doesn't because I need to learn something from it. It really is that simple. :) 
I know my Heavenly Father loves me regardless of my epilepsy :) 
Epilepsy comes with a stigma, I think it always will. It is a condition that is not very well understood, and from an outside perspective it can be scary. Epilepsy can not be seen. You can't look at someone and automatically know they have epilepsy (unless they are on the floor!) and this sometimes makes it even harder for people to understand. Epilepsy is not just seizures. It is so much more than that. It brings with it other neurological problems such as headaches, memory loss  and concentration problems. It also brings with it fear. Fear of having a seizure , fear of not knowing when the next seizure will be or how bad it will be. From that fear however comes courage. Courage that everything will work out. So yes I have epilepsy, does that make me evil No it does not, does it make me brave, probably not, does it scare me sometimes yes, will it control my life , not a chance :) 
I may have epilepsy but epilepsy does not have me :)

sticks and stones may break my bones

Sticks and stones may break my bones but calling names can't hurt me ... whoever said this was oh so wrong!!!! Words can hurt, probably more than sticks and stones sometimes!!!!  I am pretty sure that I would rather break my collar bone or foot again then have someone I care about deeply say something hurtful to me!!!  When hurtful words are said it causes the worst and deepest kinds of wounds, the types that can't be made better with a batman plaster or stitches at the hospital, the kind that show no outward bruise or mark but that damage the heart so deeply you can often wonder if it will ever fully repair.
I have unfortunatly been on both sides of a word war, I have been the victim but I have also been the person saying hurtful words before too :(  So why do we do it? My theory is that we sometimes become so wrapped up in our own inner hurt and anguish that we fail to see the hurt we are going to cause someone else simply by opening our mouths. Sometimes we feel let down or hurt by others and we want them to know how we feel , we want them to feel a little bit of how they have made us feel. Is this right? No it is not. As members of the church we are counseled againsed doing this. Hurting someone elses feelings does not make your own feel any better, calling someone else fat does not make you any thinner and calling someone else a poor friend does not make you a better one.
Often we fail to see the implications of our actions and indeed our words. We can become self absored and can fail to see the bigger picture. Thinking only of ourselves is damaging to the soul!!
The problem with words, just like a bag of feathers released into the air, once they are out there you can't get them back.
Maybe its time we all think a little more before we speak, I know that is something I will be doing :) Remember the greatest way to be a great friend is to show it because actions speak louder than words :)
smile jesus loves you :) :)

the teacher is always quiet during the test

This week I have experienced those difficult moments in life where you have more questions than answers and the answers don't seem to be coming no matter how hard you try to find them!!! I'm sure many people have experienced this in their lives. Its difficult!!! Its hard to get down on your knees and pour your heart out to your Heavenly Father only to feel like your words are going unheard, and truthfully that is sometimes how it feels!!
I know however that that isnt true!! I know that my Heavenly Father hears my prayers and that he does and he will answer them in his own time and in his own way. Something valuable I have come to learn over the past week  is this as much as I wish I did (and trust me I do) I do not know everything, I don't know everything because I am not supposed to!!! Just like Nephi said in 1Nephi 11:27 "I know that he loveth his children, nevertheless I do not know the meaning of all things" Nephi knew that his Heavenly Father loved him but he did not know the answers to everything. Why you ask?? because he wasn't supposed to!!!! Just like a test can not be fair if we are given the answer sheet along with the test paper our faith can not be tested and tried if we are shown the outcome before the trial.
I know that God loves his children and that he loves me. I know that without doubt. I don't know why bad things happen in this world or why I or many others have to face the trials we are given but I can take comfot in the knowledge that whatever I am going through I am never alone. Heavenly Father loves us and will never leave us. He does not put us through trials for his own good, he already knows the outcome and the answers, he puts us through trials for our own learning and growth. If we trust in the lord and in his love and keep his commandments we will emerge stronger from our trials , stronger people with increased faith, having learnt all that heavenly father has wanted us to learn.
Remember when you feel like you're prayers are not being answered the teacher is always quiet during the test :)
SMILE JESUS LOVES YOU :)

going to church on a sunday doesn't make you a christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car!!!

When I sit at church on a Sunday my mind is filled with thoughts of the saviour and my loving heavenly father. I enjoy listening and learning from the talks and I also enjoy the company of my fellow Brothers and sisters. I have always imagined that all those sitting there enjoying the service and lessons alongside me were all experiencing the same feelings as me. It has come to my attention however, that this is not always the case.Some people attend church mearly as a social outing to finish off their week. Others use Sunday services as a time to make themselves feel better by pulling other people down!!!
Now I openly admit I am not perfect and am nowhere near the perfect mormon girl or saint!! I am not writing this blog to point fingers or assign blame I am mearly expressing something which I have learnt over the past few weeks and something which has been on my mind.
We are told that when we attend church meetings we should go with our empty cup and allow it to be filled up. We know that some people go to church with their hands over the cup, not wanting to hear the words being spoken. Well those people who go to church and spend sacrament meeting looking for faults in those around them have clearly left their cups at home because they won't be getting anything out of the talks. They have also cleary missed one of the fundemental christlike attributes we are called to have as members of the church, charity and love!!
Ok so yes that girl sat over there her dress is a little short when shes sat down and ok that boy in the front row he's not wearing a white shirt this morning but you know what if I wasn't a mormon and was the betting kind I would bet my entire handbag collection that their cups are being filled by the words and love of christ while your cup is still at home on the kitchen counter!!!
Going to church on a Sunday doesn't make you a Christian or a good Mormon anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car!! Being there isn't enough, reading the words isn't enough you have to be living them and living them means stopping judging and paying attention!!!! Next Sunday be sure to take your cup!!!
Smile jesus loves you :)

Healing waters........

" I've built a bridge all of my strength cannot cross over
I stand at the edge, the edge of a road that I have followed 
sinking from the weight of my own world 
wanting the waves of your ways to wash my feet 
healing waters, healing waters
solace flows through the river of forgiveness to my soul 
oh I need you healing waters "

No matter who we are, what we do in our lives, what mistakes we make or don't make at some point in our lives we will all need the healing waters of heavenly father and Jesus Christ. I know that the "waters" of Jesus Christ and the atonement really do heal both physical and spiritual wounds. The atonement works, the book is blue the church is true .... That is all :) 

SMILE , JESUS LOVES YOU , ALWAYS  

Faith ... making things possible since 4000BC

Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ is the first principle of the gospel. We first need faith in order to follow the other principles. Throughout the scriptures we learn that real faith in Christ can help us overcome obsticles and challenges that to some would seem impossible. Nephi built a boat, (1nephi:17:51) Moses parted the red sea (Moses 1:21) and Peter walked on water (Matthew 14:29).
Recently I have been asking myself how strong is my faith? Would I have enough Faith to walk on water, or to part a sea? Truthfully I don't know. I would love to think that if those times and trials ever came upon me that I would have the kind of faith needed to perform such miracles, however I am also sure that the people in the scriptures are prophets and apostles for a reason!!!!!! One thing I do know is that everyone's faith needs strengthening, including mine! There is always room for improvement!!!!! The scriptures, as always, are a great place to start if you are looking to strenghten your faith however, simply reading the pages may not be enough. You have to be faithful to what they teach. When we are faithful we are rewarded with greater faith. Through faithfulness our faith is strengthened and it grows!!!
I found a wonderful scripture recently that I think sums all this up perfectly. Enos 1:7-8 "How is it done? .... Because of thy faith in Christ"
Through real faith in the Lord Jesus Christ our faith will be strenghtened and we will be able to accomplish whatever difficult challenges we face! If we have enough faith we will be able to move mountains (Ether 12:30) resist temptation (Alma 37:33) and heal relationships (Alma 15:5-11) When we exercise true faith in the Lord we will be blessed with all the faith that we need to overcome challenges and trials. Whatever the question it seems faith is always the answer!!!!!!!!  

I know that my redeemer lives!!!

Its Easter Sunday, all around the world children and adults alike will be tucking into chocolate eggs, telling stories about the easter bunny and enjoying the long weekend with family and friends. While I agree that having time off work and eating chocolate is wonderful I sometimes wonder if people have forgotten why we are eating those yummy eggs and why we are having a holiday. I love Easter. Not just because I can eat chocolate for breakfast and get away with it but I love it because of what it is about. What Easter stands for. I love Easter because of my saviours sacrifice for me and because of the resurrection and the atonement and the wonderful joy that it brings to all of our lives.
Easter, just like Christmas, is all about the saviour!!! At Easter we celebrate the fact that he not only died for our sins and the sins, pains and afflictions of the entire world, but that he rose again!!!! We celebrate the resurrection of Christ!! That resurrection and the saviours atoning sacrifice allows each and every one of us to live again!!!!!! Christ conquered the grave for all of us. What a beautiful and wonderful thing. I can not and will never be able to fully understand the saviours sacrifice, I will never fully understand the atonement or the pain and suffering he went through for me, but what I don know and what I do understand is how much he loves me and how much I in turn love him and how grateful I am for all he has done for me.
Because of him we can start again, guilt becomes peace, hope takes the place of despair, we are given second chances, clean slates and new beginnings. 
I know that my redeemer lives!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Smile. be happy , you are exactly where you are supposed to be :)

Life has an uncanny ability to throw a curve ball at us at a moment when we least expect it.
Often we find ourselves getting to a point in life where things seem to finally be going to plan, that is to the plan we have for ourselves. when all of a sudden BAM, life throws us that curve ball and knocks us right off track!!!!
Some of these moments in my life have left me numb to the core, lost and wondering what to do next. It is important to remember, in those times of unsurety, that while things may not be going the way we would like them to, they will be going exactly the way the lord would like them to, after all he is the one who gets to create the plans. We all have a divine and wonderful purpose and there are things we are destined to do that we will never be able to imagine!!!! The lord knows who we are and who we can become!!!
One of my favourite scriptures is Doctrine and Covenants 6:36 "look unto me in every thought, doubt not, fear not" 
I love this scripture because it reminds me that the lord is always there, that we are not going through anything alone and if we look to him he will help us. He knows how we feel because he has already felt it. When we have faith in Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ and when we trust in Heavenly Fathers plan for us we have no reason to doubt or fear!!! 
So when things don't go the way we would like them to, we should remember that the Lord has a plan for us and all the trials and heartache are just a part of that plan!!! So smile, be happy, DOUBT NOT FEAR NOT!!!!

REMEMBER "you are exactly where you are supposed to be"

total geek ... just the way heavenly father made me

" so take me as you find me all of my fears and failures, I'd give my life to follow all that I believe in" These are the words to one of my favourite songs at the moment, its called mighty to save.
Society today, and sometimes even people within the church itself, expect us to be perfect. We are expected to look a certain way, dress a certain way, act a certain way. Society wants us to be beautiful models and the church would like us to be "perfect" mormons who can sew, bake, clean, raise children, look wonderful, attend the temple, teach children and recite scriptures all in a days work!!!!! But what if you don't fit into either of these catogories!! Does that simply mean you don't fit??!!! I don't think so!!!! As much as I would love to be beautiful, and be able to sew and quote scriptures left right and centre its never going to happen. Simply because I am not perfect and that just is not the way my heavenly father made me. 
Those people who know me will testify that I am clumsy, I love cake way too much to ever be skinny, I chill out in my house in my trackies, I have the worst memory ever so can never remember scriptures correctly, I love superheroes and comic books and to be totally honest am a complete geek... but I am ok with that and so is my heavenly father. Why you ask?? because thats the way he made me!!!!!!!!! 
Yes, sometimes I would love to look like the models I see on magazine covers but then I think would I really want to get up two hours early to make myself look like that. No I would not, I love my bed and my sleep way too much.
Our heavenly father doesn't expect us to be perfect, he didn't make us that way. He simply wants us to do our best to become more like him. In my opinion becoming more christ like shouldn't involve looking like a beauty queen or having the perfect home it should involve drawing our hearts closer to him and filling them with charity and love. 
I am not perfect, I am a geek and I have the glasses to prove it!!! (check out the pic) but my heavenly father is ok with that and so am I. So take me as you find me :) 

I'm epileptic ..whats your problem.

For those of you who don't know my name is Jade and not only am I the coolest Mormon girl you know I am also the most awesome epileptic girl you know too!!
so this week I have realised that I would really really hate having epilepsy if I didn't have the wonderful people I am blessed with in my life around me. I suffer from both photo sensitive and general epilepsy and have absences and tonic clonic seizures. I've only been epileptic for 3 years since having an accident so I'm still getting used to it!!!!
My friends and I are able to laugh at the many absences I have.... An absence is simply where I zone out for a little while... Unless they tell me this has happened I am not aware of it at all. We have some good laughs about the Jade world I must visit!!! ( I imagine it to be a bit of a princess fairytale world, with batman thrown in for good measure)
The biggy seizures are not so fun and we find it harder to laugh about those but my wonderful friends and the amazing team of people I get to work with everyday make those harder times ok too.
This week I had a seizure at work, something which upsets me greatly, but the awesome people I work with know how to deal not only with the seizure but also with me. The love, care and support they show me often overwhelms me. I love each one of them greatly, they really are all amazing people and the reason I can fight epilepsy every day and win. They help to make it
 Jade 1 - Epilepsy-0.  The foundation team I work with are my real life superheroes!!!!!!!!!!