Bruises and blessings

"Count your blessings instead of your complaints" I love this quote. On those days when I am feeling a little bit down or fed up it reminds me to be thankful for all that I do have and all that I am blessed with. Earlier this week I had another epileptic seizure. Having seizures is nothing new, this time however I managed to hit my head and face and am now sporting a lovely bruise on my left temple. I wouldn't say I was particularly vein but having the bruise on my face did make me feel a little self conscious and in turn a little down. Then I was reminded of that quote. I think if I wrote a list of all the complaints I have they would probably fit on a post it note,in comparison I would struggle to fit all of the blessings I have in my life on two sides of A4 paper. 

I have seen on Facebook that people have been writing down three things a day that they are thankful for so I have decided to do that too. I am going to write three things a day that I am thankful for for a week! So here is today's list 

1- The Gospel !!! Nothing makes me happier than the abundance of blessings that come from following the gospel! 

2- I am blessed to have all that I need - I am lucky to have a home, a job, and enough food and water to eat. There are so many in this world who do not have these basic things. 

3- The wonderful people I have in my life - I am blessed to have amazing people in my life, people who look after me, inspire me, care for me and love me just the way I am! 

Imperfections

When Heavenly Father made me he did not make me perfect, he made me with many faults and imperfections. Recently I have had some of those imperfections pointed put to me. Many of these faults I was already aware of, I don't pay enough attention and I am forever checking my phone to name but a few. Having them pointed out to me was at first, a little painful. While I am aware that I am far from perfect it still hurt having my faults pointed out to me. I felt like I had failed in some way. The most painful part of the whole thing, was that my faults and imperfections cost me something very special.
This situation, though painful, got me thinking about why we have imperfections in the first place. Heavenly Father gave us imperfections in order to help us grow. No one in this world is perfect, no one will go through life without making mistakes and messing up, being human it is almost what we are designed to do! It is also why we have the atonement. Often in our lives our imperfections will be pointed out to us and we will be able to see them crystal clear. Is it painful , yes. Is it necessary ,most definitely. Sometimes The Lord needs to remind us of our imperfections in order to help us change , grow as people and become more Christlike. Often The Lord will use others to help us to see those imperfections for ourselves. He wants us to become perfect, he wants us to become like him. That is after all the goal. Just like a gardener prunes his bushes and cuts them back in order to help them to grow, sometimes The Lord needs to do that with us too. It may hurt and be painful , but it is also necessary.
While I am sad that my faults have cost me something great, I am grateful that Now I can see my imperfections I can work on correcting them.

Happy days and healing hearts

"The heartaches we feel in this life are preparing us for something greater"
When I was younger I believed that the heart was actually shaped like the love heart shapes emblazoned on my pink princess bedding. I also believed that a broken heart was a physical thing and looked like those necklaces that were a heart split in two.
As I got older I learnt that not only does a heart look nothing like those love hearts on my sheets but also  that heartbreak and heartache is an emotional feeling rather than a physical thing.
No one enjoys being hurt, either physically, mentally or emotionally. Sometimes we can be hurt by the people who we care about the most. Often those people who we trust the most can carry out acts or say words that shock us and hurt us more than if someone we don't know had done the same act.  Emotional heartache is often the worst, unlike broken bones and cuts and bruises, there is no plaster cast or antiseptic cream that can be put on your heart to help heal it. Unfortunately , sometimes life hurts, it needs to in order to help us grow. Does this knowledge make it hurt any less? The simple answer to that is no it does not.
We do however have a promise that Heavenly Father can and will heal our hearts for us, whatever has hurt us, if we will let him. Heavenly Father also promises us that those heartaches we will feel will be for our good. Sometimes things don't work out the way we expected them to because The Lord is preparing us for something better.  I have learnt that the best person to entrust your heart to is The Lord, trust in him and he will lead us along the path that is right for us until we end up exactly where we are supposed to be.
Yesterday I realised that the best way to get over pain , whatever that pain me be, is to smile!! I got to spend some time with my best friend vikki and her sister Bethany. Bethany is in a wheelchair and probably suffers more pain than you or I can imagine and yet I have never yet heard her complain or murmur. She is always smiling. She is filled with the spirit and her laugh is infectious. She has taught me to laugh and smile through adversity and challenges. She fills me heart with love,peace and joy and makes me feel grateful for all that I have. I am truly blessed to have this wonderful, beautiful and amazing daughter of God in my life.
Yesterday, as we sat eating Ice cream in the rain, I felt no sadness, only joy. I can honestly say, at that moment, there was nowhere else I would rather have been, and no one else I would rather have been with.
I feel blessed to have such wonderful people in my life, people who heal my heart and help me understand that I am a daughter of God and that I am blessed.
I know that everyone comes into my life for a reason, either to bless it or to help Heavenly Father teach me the lessons I need to learn and for that I am truly thankful.

I'll go where you want me to go ...

"I'll go where you want me it go dear lord, over mountain or plain or sea, I'll say what you want me to say dear lord, I'll be who you want me to be" - I'll go where you want me to go is one of my favourite hymns!!!! I love it. It is commonly associated with missionary work and being called to serve wherever The Lord feels you need to be. I think, however, that it can be applied to all aspects of our lives, wether we are missionaries or not.
I have talked about following heavenly fathers plan for us and setting aside our own many times, and I have discussed how difficult this is. One thing I haven't really talked about, however, is the wonderful and amazing blessings that are poured out from heaven when we do the things The Lord has always intended us to do!!!!
We are all children of our Heavenly Father, he made us and he knows each of us individually, just like our earthly fathers do. He knows all that we are capable and all that we can and will become if we are faithful.
Sometimes following the lords plan can put us in situations we are neither comfortable or happy with! Sometimes following that plan means being rejected and hurt. Sometimes that plan makes us feel like we are in the wrong place and that the world is moving on without us and we are still stood in the same place. Often faithful members of the church wonder why things are not working out for them , when they are doing all the right things and making the right choices. During these times,I have learnt, that it is important to remember that Heavenly Father knows what he is doing! He may allow us to feel those feelings of rejection and hurt at that time because he has got something so much better planned for us in the future!!
I know that the negative experiences I have had this past year, the ones which have left me feeling hurt and confused, have only been for my benefit, for my own good and learning. The Lord has been preparing me to do his work. Some of that preparation has been hard and painful but I am thankful for it. It has strengthened my testimony and helped me to grow closer to my Heavenly Father.  I love him and I know that he loves me and that he is preparing me to do wonderful things.
I trust in him and his plan completely.
I will go where you want me to go dear Lord .......

Answered prayers and rainy Sundays

Today I have been truly blessed with the undeniable knowledge that my prayers are not only heard beyond the four walls of my room but that they are also answered!
For weeks now I have been struggling with the new paths my life and The Lord are taking me down and I have felt lost and without a purpose. I have pleaded with The Lord for help, guidance and comfort. I have poured my heart out each day to my Heavenly Father and I have to admit that at times I have felt like I was going unheard.
Then today that comfort came in the words of a wonderful speaker in sacrament meeting!
Today Bridlington branch , or costa del Brid as I like to call it, was visited by our high councilman and his wife, Brother and Sister Hughes. Let me share something with you about these two wonderful people. I have only met them a handful of times and yet they remember my name, they remember what I do for a living and my personal circumstances. The light of the gospel shines from them and having them visit the branch is always a treat.
Today Sister Hughes gave  a wonderful talk in sacrament. She talked about making prayer meaningful, made some wonderful comments about scripture study and truly had the spirit with her. Then she said something which gave me goosebumps and hit me like an electric shock to my heart. She said this "you can sit and let the pain and all the rubbish that goes with it get to you or you can do something ace"
Now I am sure when Sister Hughes planned her talk she probably didn't give this tiny quote much thought, however to me, that one simple sentence was an answer to the prayers I had been saying for weeks. I can choose to feel sorry for myself and the circumstances I have found myself in , or I can trust in The Lord , follow his will and do something ace and help others come unto Christ!!
What an amazing blessing it is to have our prayers answered and to know that Heavenly Father hears us! Prayers are not always answered in the way we expect or even when we expect them, but they do come , in the lords time and in ways we sometimes don't imagine.
Prayer really is the passport to peace.

Sometimes the right decision is the hardest

Something I have learnt over the past year is that as you get older your perception on the world changes. Those things which seemed so important to you when you were younger become trivial and those things which you always thought you were too young to care about suddenly become a huge part of your reality!
People often talk about going out and "finding yourself" when you are young. When I was younger that concept baffled me. I didn't understand what I needed to find. I knew who I was, I was Jade, I went to school, I worked at morrisons, I  loved my family and my friends, I wanted to travel and explore new places. I knew what my dreams were and I assumed they would just all fall
Into place as I got older. What was there to find??!!!
For years I went through life on cruise control , I went travelling and explored new places , I got my dream job and I assumed I still knew exactly who I was and what I was supposed to do with my life.
Then something happened, I got epilepsy. Not particularly tragic and I am aware that there are worse things I could have gotten , however epilepsy changed my life and my perception of the world and also of me. Suddenly I realised that a lot of those dreams I had imagined would come true probably wouldn't now! That left me wondering who I was? And who would I become? I had planned my life and epilepsy was not something I had planned into it!
As my perception changed I realised that at 25 years old I actually don't know who I am, I am completely lost!  Those things which seemed so important to me before now seem pointless and instead have been replaced with new worries and hopes.
Luckily I have the guidance of my Heavenly Father to help me. I can honestly say that I have never prayed as much as I have done over the past month in my entire life. The scripture I walk by faith and not by sight has never meant so much!
Trusting in The Lord and his timings is difficult, it's the hardest thing I have ever had to do. It's made even more difficult when the things The Lord would have me do are not in tune with what I would like to do. It's hard to do one thing when your heart is screaming at you to do something else! However, I have faith in
My Heavenly Father and his plan for me. I know he loves me and I trust him completely. Giving The Lord my heart is hard and so is walking by faith but I know I am not alone and I know that everything will work out in the end , just the way The Lord wants it to. Sometimes the right decision is also the hardest.

Turning 25 ...

Yesterday was the big day!! I turned 25!!!!!! While I know 25 is not a particularly special age I am excited about it. Yesterday marked the start of my bucket list challenge to complete the list before I turn 30!! I have finished editing my bucket list and am now ready to rock and roll!!!! ( when I say editing I mean adding a few new things to the original list) 
Some of the things on my list I have already completed , such as the trip to Australia and seeing boyzone in concert!! I have decided to leave these on the list for two reasons , one I didn't want to change the list too much, this whole challenge is about getting back the positive attitude I had when I originally wrote the list and I feel that changing it too much would change those feelings. Two I think having items completed on the list will encourage me to carry on and complete the rest!!! 
So here is my list ......

•Become a teacher
•Run a half marathon
•Run a marathon
•Raise a million for Macmillan
•Be in two places at once
•Skydive
•Visit America 
•Visit Hawaii 
•Watch a west end show 
•Stay in a posh hotel 
•Learn to surf
•Dance in the rain
•See one of my fav boy bands in •concert either boyzone or west life 
•Be a princess for the day 
•Be part of my own fairytale 
•Serve a mission
•Ride a bike 
•Go to Paris
•Learn French 
•Go to old Trafford and watch a match 
•Go on a massive family holiday 
•Learn to knit and make a blanket
•Learn to sew and make a skirt 
•Make a quilt 
•Roll down a hill 
•Swim in a lake 
•Go to Australia 
•Make a wish in the trevvy fountain 
•Meet someone famous 
•Memorise my favourite scriptures
•Have my own blog 
•Go to Disneyland 
•Start my own summer camp
•Help disadvantaged children 
•Learn to make all meals from scratch 
•Make the best ice cream sundae ever 
•Ride a roller coaster 
•Build my own house 
•Win a gold medal 

I have no idea how I am going to accomplish most of these things but I am excited for the challenge! When I wrote the list my trusty Nokia 3310 did not have the internet and therefore no google to research just how hard winning a gold medal is or the how being in two places at once is pretty much impossible!!! 
Despite these minor problems , however, I am excited for the new adventures ahead!!!! 
Time to find my passport .... And lace up my running shoes :)