I appriciate the fact that this blog entry may not be to everyones taste and if it's not to yours feel free to stop reading it. Today I want to talk about my epilepsy, the gospel and other people's attitudes and what happens when you put all 3 together.
Those people who know me well will know that I am not big on sharing and although I think I have blogged about my epilepsy before, it's not something I ever really feel the need to talk about. Why? because epilepsy may be in my life but it does not own my life, Yes I am epileptic but having epilepsy does not define me.
I have only been epileptic for 3 years, so some of it is still pretty new to me. Something that has really surprised me is the attitude some people have towards epilepsy and those with it. Now I know that back in the olden days people suffering with epilepsy were thought to be posessed by evil spirits and seizures were a result of those spirits trying to get out! I put this down to a lack of knowledge and understanding in those days and I had thought that this mentality had been left behind along with performing labotomys and burning witches at the stake, it would appear however, that I am wrong. Recently someone told me that I am "of the devil" and "evil" and are being punished by God because I have epilepsy!! My reaction ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!! Now correct me if I am wrong but you wouldn' t go up to someone suffering with cancer and tell them that they have this terrible illness because they are "evil" or because they have done something wrong and are being punished by God would you?? No of course you wouldn't. I would be lying if I said that those words didn't hurt me because they did. So I did what Ive always done, I turned to the scriptures. Not because I believed there was any truth in what the crazy person was telling me but because I know that the answers I am searching for and the comfort I need can always be found in the scriptures. Heres what I found. 1NEPHI 11:27 - "I know that he loveth his children, nevertheless I do not know the meaning of all things" (ive used this scripture before i know but i love it ) - I love this scripture!!! Nephi knew that Heavenly Father loves his children, we don't have the answers to everything but we do know that God loves us. He is not a mean God. He is not going to punish us with illness. He would never do that. It is not in his nature.
2 NEPHI 2:2 - " he shall consecrate thine afflictions for thy gain" - our trials, illnesses and afflictions, however painful, are for our learning and for our good. So I have epilepsy and someone else doesn't because I need to learn something from it. It really is that simple. :)
I know my Heavenly Father loves me regardless of my epilepsy :)
Epilepsy comes with a stigma, I think it always will. It is a condition that is not very well understood, and from an outside perspective it can be scary. Epilepsy can not be seen. You can't look at someone and automatically know they have epilepsy (unless they are on the floor!) and this sometimes makes it even harder for people to understand. Epilepsy is not just seizures. It is so much more than that. It brings with it other neurological problems such as headaches, memory loss and concentration problems. It also brings with it fear. Fear of having a seizure , fear of not knowing when the next seizure will be or how bad it will be. From that fear however comes courage. Courage that everything will work out. So yes I have epilepsy, does that make me evil No it does not, does it make me brave, probably not, does it scare me sometimes yes, will it control my life , not a chance :)
I may have epilepsy but epilepsy does not have me :)
Wow I love Jades ability to demonstrate what we all must learn that our trials are given to us to help us learn and grow and not to hinder to help us see how capable we can be when we would have never believed it. Epilepsy is down right scary, most no nothing and ignorance can be mean, yet Jade draws courage and strength, all this making her stronger and no doubt more compassionate and loving. As a father I often let my children self learn to deal with their trials from afar, ready to catch them, to enable them to learn and reach their potential just as I know heavenly father does with us. What have i learnt? That Jade is an incredible young woman who happens to have Epilepsy but to me Jade is Jade its only a small part that makes her fabulous, . We should all be inspired to welcome our own trials and draw from Jades courage. Ps nothing wrong with witch hunting :-)
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