What is grief? I don't know if anyone really knows the answer to that. At the moment I would describe it as an agonizing emotional pain that is so powerful it hurts physically. In the early hours of Friday 22nd April my wonderful, kind, loving dad peacefully passed away after what has been a long and sometimes painful eleven year journey. I had the privilege and honour of walking every step of that journey with my dad right until the end. He was brave and a fighter and the most loving man I have ever known. I miss him dearly already. While my heart is full of an unbearable sadness it is also full of pride and gratitude that I got to call that man dad. He was and still is my hero and my best friend.
I have never been more thankful for the blessings of the temple than I am right now. How thankful am I that families are eternal. That death is not the end. Families are forever. This parting, however painful, is just temporary. That knowledge is probably the only thing getting me out of bed each day at the minute. How blessed am I that the lord gave my dad to me. That I got to spend 27 amazing and wonderful love filled years with him and that in the next life I can be with him for all eternity. I can only imagine how joyful and amazing the day will be when we are reunited. In some way I almost can't wait for that day.
The truth is I would give anything to have one more hug with my dad. To say one more goodnight and one more I love you Dad. It has only been five days and I already long to hear his voice again. To hear him tell me he loves me just one more time.
People keep telling me that grief is a funny thing and in some way I can see how it is. I can't really describe my emotions, my feelings or even my thoughts at the minute. Everything just seems to hurt and there seems to be no relief.
I do believe however, that relief will come. In the same way that I know families are forever I also know that Christ has already felt all the pain I have felt and that the gospel does and will help to heal my pain. It may not be straight away, it may not be this year, it may not be for years to come but it will eventually come.
All I can do until that relief comes is hold on. Hold on to the gospel truths that I know, hold on to the memories of my dad and the calming knowledge that he is at peace and no longer suffering. Hold on until we are reunited again.
Goodnight , I love you dad forever.
till we meet again xxxx
It is incredibly painful to say goodbye. I remember the pain so well a couple of months ago when Naths dad passed away and he wasn't my dad, but I felt a degree of it and it hurt enough to feel hard. I dont know what it feels like to loose a parent but I know grief and I know it is physical, mental, emotional and makes you feel absolutely naff. Yes it will be lighter eventually but we have to pass through seasons of sadness..a natural result of how much we love x
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